I was riding at the park yesterday, minding my own business*. I had just climbed a hill of medium difficulty and was enjoying the fruits of my labor (read: getting to go really fast down the other side of said hill), when ahead of me is a cute girl....
Before I go any further, let me explain. I'm not some sleazeball who ogles other women despite the fact that I'm married. When I'm riding at the park, there are women all around. Some are cute, and some are not-so-cute. It makes no difference to me, though, because I just pass them and keep on riding, no big deal.
...anyway
So, ahead of me was a cute girl. I have no intentions of trying to impress this girl. I just want to ride past her and go about my way. BUT, while I have no intentions of trying to impress her, I most certainly do not want to make an ass out of myself in front of her. As I'm starting my "I-recognize-you-are-of-above-average-attractiveness-but-sorry-you're-nowhere-near-as-hot-as-my-wife-so-I'm-going-to-make-it-evident-that-you're-no-big-deal-in-my-mind-and-I'll-go-about-my-business" routine (which takes about 1/10 of the time to act out as it did to type), the girl and I got closer to passing each other. About 15 feet away from each other, I prepared for my .2 second eye contact and courtesy nod (which I offer to everyone - man, woman, cute, or uncute). Just by chance, during that 1/5 of a second, THWAPP! A larger-than-average bug smacked me dead-center on my forehead.
I have no idea what kind of bug this was, but it was big. And it made me freak out and instinctively start slapping at my forehead like an idiot, right as I passed the girl. Then, about 20 feet (or, about half a second) later, the bug was gone and I finished my ride, having failed in my attempt to "play it cool" for the girl I had no intention of impressing in the first place. The entire episode had lasted, beginning to end, about 4-5 seconds.
*Minding my own business, plus minding the business of the path-hog, unaware, completely ovlivious to the fact that the line painted down the middle of the path indicates that the path is to be treated like a road (STAY ON YOUR SIDE!) walkers
