I was at the Mall of Georgia yesterday measuring a wall. The wall was over 50 ft long, and the tape measure I had wasn't half that distance, so I would have to measure as far as I could, mark my spot, then measure again from the mark, and so on and so on until I knew the total width. When I neared the end of the wall, I had somewhere between 6 and 8 feet left to measure, so I held the end of the tape measure out, hoping to hook the end of it to the end of the wall. The tape measure kept giving out under its weight and falling limply to the ground. After the third try, I was about to give up and try a different method, when an older man happened to be walking by. He picked up the end of the tape measure and hooked it to the wall, thus allowing me to get my final measurement.
I thanked him, and I thought that was going to be it. His response - He slapped me on my butt and then - holding out a limp, droopy finger - said "Yeah, that tape measure reminded me of ma' dick".
Nice old man to creepy old man in 1.5 seconds. That has to be some kind of a record, right?
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