Numero Uno

I noticed my sister started a daily blog series called "30 Days of Truth", which features a different writing prompt every day. I also noticed that I don't be typing much up in here lately, and it's largely because I haven't had much to say. I figure if nothing else, this will jumpstart my thought-relaying, and my blog won't lay dormant for months at a time.

I realize that this sounds like an incredibly girly and silly thing for a 31-year-old man to be doing. Eh...that's fine, though. I can live with it if you can. Today will be number one, and while I'll probably miss a day here or there, I'll do my best to complete all thirty of them in a somewhat timely fashion.

#1 - Something you hate about yourself

Okay...day one, and I'm already going to cheat. The prompt asks for one thing, and I'm listing two.

First, I hate that I can't fully grasp this whole "responsible adult" thing. It's not that I do things that immature people do (stay out all hours of the night, drink obsessively, live with my parents). It's that I don't do the things mature people do. First off, there is a list as long as my arm of things that need to be done around the house. I need to fix our driveway. I need to fix our sliding glass door. I need to trim our bushes. I need to fix the ceiling (that I fell through almost three years ago). What do I do every night when I get home? Help give Cohen his dinner, eat dinner myself, play with Cohen for a little while, then Kimberly and I put him to bed. By this point, it's almost 9:00, and I ain't about to get out the tools and start working on stuff.
But Daniel, you can do this stuff on the weekends, right? Yeah, you'd think...and you'd be right. Problem is, that's where the whole immaturity thing comes in. I'm more interested in watching (insert sporting event here) and enjoying some relax time. That's the part I haven't fully wrapped my head around. Most adults use that time to do housework. Somehow, I always find something else to do.

Secondly, I hate that I can't get my health fully where I want it to be. I have made huge strides in that department over the past 6 months. I have lost 50 pounds. I now have what I would describe as a "healthy lifestyle". You know what I haven't done? Eaten better. Stopped smoking. I complain that my weight, no matter how hard I work, seldom drops into the 230's, and when it does, it's only for a short time before I'm back up between 241 and 243. I complain, but I know good and well that if I ate better...if I didn't have those cookies after dinner...if I just used the one piece of cheese on my sandwich rather than the two (or *gasp* no cheese!)...if I made all these small changes, they would add up and I'd probably see results.
I have tried countless times to quit smoking. I know it's terrible. I know what it can do to me. I know it stinks (literally), and should Cohen ever find out it could (probably would) result in him doing it too when he's older. All of these reasons, however, have not stopped me from doing it. I have no excuse. I have no justification. I just haven't quit yet, and I need to.

I hate those things, and now I feel terrible about myself. I can't wait for tomorrow when I will be told to list what I love about myself.